I believe that true relationships – that is: relationships that share genuine values of each other and consciously recognize the vital and core strengths of each other – are built, they just don’t happen.
At least one of the two parties in this relationship can create this dynamic interchange by surrendering (not the same as abandoning) their personal interests and by putting the focus on two critical efforts: First, try to absorb the other person’s tensions (we all have them….).
Secondly, build more care (care can build) for that person next to us. Both these efforts take a conscious expression and time.
This type of connection is built slowly and carefully through daily interactions in which core values are expressed and are in themselves compelling enough for us to act. But the trick is we must act with a significant level of consciousness and with a sense of genuine care (we don’t necessarily have to understand it). A personal commitment or a mindset to react in this manner is the essential and fundamental building block. We then begin building the relationship block by block; effort by effort.
Eventually this building process is progressively displaced by a deeper level of respect, which then becomes the permanent foundation upon which the lifelong relationship sits. This foundation of respect has to integrate with the systemic vibration of the core of the person…which is to say, that we dig until we connect to a deep point in the center of our energy that is meaningful and then apply it to this one specific individual. This now affords us the opportunity to release any tension and or judgment in us on all levels and trust in our connection. The connection now becomes the part of the relationship we strive to support. Doing this repeatedly begins to create a true reality upon which respect is simply a bi-product and a catalyst for deeper future growth. It is a little like exercising a muscle…we have to actually do the work. However once this commitment (mindset) is in place we can build the relationship to its maximum and natural end point where it becomes an integral part of our own spiritual evolution.
There are no ‘keys’ to a good relationship. We can’t go to a relationship locksmith and have him make us a key.
We have to work at it.