Thanks to all of you who are now reading my blog. And I do appreciate your comments. Helps to know there are others out there that grapple with similar issues. What a great opportunity to have a vehicle to share specific, timely parenting issues. You can also follow me on my Facebook page and continue the conversation about parent/relationship lessons.
Modeling Lasting Relationships
No matter what age our children are they are constantly making new friends. This is especially true in the beginning of school each year. Many of these friends will naturally evolve into interdependent relationships. These new budding relationships may last only for the time during a shared experience like a soccer team or the whole year of the academic school year, but some will last well into adulthood and further!
How we model our relationship with both our children and our partners at home is hugely significant and can have lasting impact on how our children learn to build their own relationships with their new friends. This is not rocket science and is understood by nearly everyone. What this really means, however, is that the specific responsibility and potential to teach them how to build and how to have relationships with all the aspects that support and foster a deep and meaningful connection is on us . . . and it should be. Other than keeping them safe, clothed, and fed, the responsibility of teaching our children how to be in relationship with others is ours — not the teachers, coaches, or grandparents. It is ours. And it is our primary responsibility because that is what provides our fast-developing children with many relationship building skills for the rest of their hopefully very long and meaningful lives.
This is a good subject to touch upon up with them when you drive them to school or are making breakfast before they leave. It puts it into their heads just before they venture out to go build those new friends! If we let them know that our behavior as a parent and as a partner is as important if not more than theirs, it will make an impact on their decisions. It does not have to be a big conversation, just make them aware that you are understanding the responsibility.
Try it. See how it goes. Don’t expect an immediate response, and in fact, you don’t have to have one.
Scott
